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dear-ebony-rose

what what in the butt?
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I hate that DEVIANTart no longer allows people to upload art that's "obscene, offensive, blasphemous, pornographic." Excuse me, but what does DEVIANT mean? Also, what's wrong with a tastefully drawn penis? It's made me leave here and go to tumblr, but now even tumblr fucking hates dicks.

smh


What's a slash artist supposed to do these days?

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I've been absent from deviantart for a while now. Man, I didn't think it had been so long, but shit it has been. My school load got heavy and I picked up hours at work, but shit. Hot damn. I've just been busy. I'm doing well, but not working on art. At least not on anything too spectacular. I'll try to get some up, whenever I can.
:(
I miss art.
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Bold quiz

6 min read

Bold what applies to you:

You are in high school.
You dropped out of high school.
You don’t have a best friend.
You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed.
You live within 20 minutes of your ex. 
You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours.
You have been to the movies within the last week.

You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year.
You have been a designated driver. 
You have broken merchandise and not paid for it.
You have played strip poker.
You are Catholic.
You are atheist.
You recycle regularly.
You are a brunette.
You have dated a blonde.
You are friends with a redhead.

You are taller than your mum. 
You are taller than your dad.
You have a bank account.
You’ve written a check for less than $5.
You have visited the Statue of Liberty.

You have visited the Eiffel Tower.
You have visited Big Ben.
You have visited the Colosseum.
You have visited The Great Wall of China.
You have never been out of the country.
You have been a waiter/waitress.
You own a Bible.
You own something with a Pentagram on it.

You have used a Ouija Board.

You have been a witch for Halloween. 
You have been a zombie for Halloween.

You have your eyebrow pierced.
You have a Monroe piercing.
You have your nose pierced.
You have no tattoos. 
You have more than 2 tattoos.
You straighten your hair occasionally.
You have worn a dress in the last 3 days.
You live somewhere that gets snow.
You celebrate Hanukkah.
You were at your own house last New Year’s.
You were at a bar last New Year’s.
You slept through last New Year’s.
You have worked on Christmas Eve.
You have worked on Christmas.
You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today.
You were told by someone who’s not family.
You slept in your own bed last night.
You are dating the last person you kissed.
You regret kissing the last person you kissed.
You are wearing a necklace right now.
You are wearing something red.
You are wearing something blue.
You are wearing something purple.
Your phone number ends with an even number.
You have kissed the last person you called/texted.
You are currently listening to music.
You are waiting for something.
You don’t like seafood.
You have eaten deer sausage. 
You have given a complete stranger your phone number.
You have been hit on at work.
You have been hit on by someone more than 20 years older than you.
You have been whistled at.
You were creeped out by it.

You are a good speller.
You are very punctual.
You were dating someone in December of 2008.
You are still dating that person.
You have cheated on someone.
You have been cheated on.
You have been on a cruise ship.
You have camped out in your own backyard.
You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you.
You are a Pisces.
You are an Aquarius.
You are a Leo.
You wonder what will happen when you die.
You are afraid of the dark.
You write in all capital letters. 
You have been told you have nice handwriting.
You have had a song written for you.
You have had a picture drawn of you.
You have curly/wavy hair.
You are wearing a watch.
You are wearing flip flops.
You wouldn’t date someone who smoked. 

You know someone with the same birthday as you.
You are a morning person.
You are a night owl. 
You slept in past 10 am today. 
You have big plans for next weekend. 
You are thinking of someone right now.
Your job is stressing you out.
You don’t have a job.
You have never had a job.
You were fired from your last job.
You know sign language. 
You will usually try something at least once.
You have been swimming in the last month.
You are pessimistic by nature.
You have taken a ballet class. 
You have taken karate. 
You have taken gymnastics.
You wish on shooting stars.
You wish at 11:11. 
Your birthday has already come this year. 

You have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year. 
You ended your last relationship.
Your ex ended your last relationship. 
You aren’t over your ex.

You have gone after someone you knew was bad for you.
You have let someone use you.
You were/are a teenage mom. 
You are an otaku.
You are a cosplayer.
You were named after someone. 
You like your name.

Your last drink was water.
You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’.
You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going.
You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’.
You are self-conscious about your body.

You have a hangover
You have a pet fish.
You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house.
You have godparents.

Your parents are still married.
You have step-siblings.
You are the oldest. 
You are adopted.
You have a triplet
You don’t want kids.
You want more than four kids.
You have a bad temper.
You have made out with a complete stranger.
You usually make the first move in an intimate situation.
You have broken your arm.
You have had to get stitches on your face.
You have had an MRI.
Your fingernails are painted.
You like to draw.
You like to sing. 
You can play an instrument.

You keep a lot of secrets from people.
You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you.
You don’t trust people easily.
You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone.
You drive a car older than a 2002.
You have lost a friend you never thought you would.
You know a child who died of cancer.

You know a teenager who died in a car wreck.
You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours.
You have cut your hair in the last week.
You wear glasses.
Your favorite season is Autumn.

Your favorite color is orange.
Your favorite animal is a dolphin.
You last rode in a car with a relative.
You last rode in a car with a girl/woman.
You last rode in a car with the person you are dating. 
You regularly watch Asian dramas.
You love Chinese food.
Your best friend is older than you.
You have to go to school/work tomorrow.
You answered every question truthfully.

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I'm hooked

1 min read
on Grunkle Stan.
 Icon - 091 Alister (Shy Blush) I've got it bad!
OMG I LOVE IT plz Omg! So bad!!
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So I've finally started coming out as queer to some of my friends. Some of the responses have been marvelous.

"Aw. I'm so glad you're finding a space (not just at the LGBT meeting) to learn more about yourself. If I can do anything to be supportive, just let me know."
"I'm so proud of you and honored you would confide in me!! Yay pride! I love you too!"
"Hearing this is on the level of learning that you don't like cooked peppers. Could be important, but doesn't change my opinion of you at all. Sexuality doesn't affect awesomeness."
And from my uncle "You are awesome and loved with any label." -I cried when I read this!


However, not all replies have made me feel good. Here's how a conversation with my closest friend went:
Me: "So I'm going to a LGBTQ meeting today on campus. I think I'm finally owning up to something."
Him: "What might that be?"
Me: "Well I always feel like I'm the Q part that the LGBT forgets to include most of the time. Queer and/or Questioning. I'm just tired of not feeling like I can talk to people about it. I can there."
Him: "Can you explain definitions/questions?"
Me: " A long time ago you and I had a talk about how labels are lacking when they are too general. I gave you a list of very specific words to describe some aspects of me. Haha, I forget them now, but let's just say that when I've said in the past that I hate being a girl... I honestly mean that. On some days, I don't want to be a girl while on others I totally accept that and I dig it. But part of me can't picture growing up to be an old lady, just an old man. I'm very masculine, but I'm not trans. Even when I don't like my gender, I'm okay with my body, and I accept it. However sometimes, I don't feel straight when I look at guys. I feel like I want them in a gay butt-pounding way. Falling in the 'Q' spectrum is hard to explain because I don't feel like any group fits me. I just feel queer. Literally queer in the old dictionary way. That's why when we talk about being straight or gay, I just say I like penis. Lol, it's just easier to say it like that. I thought we talked about this before."
Him: " I believe we had, but that time it made more sense to me. I don't know that I have any input other than I am glad you're you."
Me: "*Sigh* I hate that what I am doesn't make sense. That's why I'm hoping to start going to LGBTQ meetings."
Him: "It does kinda. Anyway, nobody really makes sense without trimming to fit into a label."
Me: "Well I just wish when I tell people, I'd get a different reply than 'i don't get it.' People get 'gay,' 'lesbian,' or even 'trans' nowadays, but not 'queer.'"
Him: "Yeah, but check it out. It seems like a great resource to explore."


Part of me is stuck on how he said that it made more sense before, but not now and how what I am only kinda makes sense. I don't always get him, but I don't say, "Who you are doesn't make sense." I tell him that he's a good person and I care about him.
What I told him before was I'm a genderqueer, crossdreaming, crossenacting, all-encompassing androphile. He checked those words up and came to the correct conclusion that I am a woman, who
*views herself as having equivalent male/female aspects or that sometimes leans further towards feeling niether gender really applies
*at times, idealizes myself as a man and dresses and act according to that ideal
*and has a preference sexually/emotionally for men.


Maybe because I live with this daily, I feel like it makes perfect sense. It's sad that using labels actually made more sense to him than us talking. On the other hand, I'm so grateful for all the positivity I've gotten from others. I told 4 friends and my uncle. So 80% has been amazing, 100% has been supportive, even though 20% didn't do the best job at understanding me. I am so lucky to have this. Some people would wish and pray for this. I'm also so lucky that I don't feel the need to tell parts of my family because since I like men and am a woman, there will be no issue. It might only become a topic later if I start openly cross-dressing. But that's another bridge to cross later.

Oh and btw, I showed a straight ally my pornographic deviant art... and it was very well received! :D
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Featured

School's kicking my ass. by dear-ebony-rose, journal

Bold quiz by dear-ebony-rose, journal

I'm hooked by dear-ebony-rose, journal

I'm here, and I'm queer. by dear-ebony-rose, journal

New art coming!! Hehe, I said cumming... by dear-ebony-rose, journal